Once you've built a close relationship, sometimes it's time to go your separate ways.Doing this is not always easy, and both partners feel the consequences.Divorce after marriage is complicated by the bureaucratic system, division of property, and often children's issues.Divorce without marriage may seem simpler, but according to psychologists, the feelings experienced as a result are similar.Marius Daugelavičius, a family and couple psychologist, says that you should not rush to divorce thinking that the other relationship will be better.And when you finally make up your mind, it would be great to choose the right words to tell your partner.The specialist answered if there are ways to prepare your best friend for such a change and how to help yourself recover after a divorce.- For what reasons do families and couples break up most often?- There are various reasons.You need to pay attention to both external and internal things.I could sum it up simply - people break up because they don't care about relationships.People often don't think about how to behave in a better relationship, and what it is in general.If people do not take care of their health or, for example, what kind of house, it starts to fall apart.For this to happen, it is enough to do nothing.If people don't do anything about relationships, they too begin to fall apart.People devote energy and time to work, study for many years, read books, raise their qualifications, are interested in nutrition, and very rarely do they make such an effort for relationships.It seems that if people are together, there is no need to do anything, it is taken for granted.- And how should you take care of the relationship?- The topic is very broad, but simple methods can be applied.Take time to talk, listen, ask what is happening inside, how the other person feels, what he lives for, what he dreams of, what he lacks.It's healthy to listen to another person, to speak for yourself.Often, problems arise because we do not listen to the other person or do not speak up for ourselves.- Maybe it is possible to prepare the partner for the future divorce so that there is less of a shock?- First of all, I want to say that divorce should be a last resort.In most cases, something can be changed and it is not necessary to be different.This is painful for both partners.People often think that if this person is not a good fit, the next one will be better.It's a very big illusion - usually it doesn't get any better.People tend to repeat their mistakes.The preparation you ask about depends on the situation.Let's say if the other party is a bully, you don't need to prepare him, you need to run.- What to do if one partner wants to divorce, and the other asks to try again?- It happens in various ways, but my experience shows that if one side has made a firm decision, it no longer has the motivation to change something, it is practically impossible to change this decision.- How do you tell a person that you don't want to be with them anymore?- One should speak tactfully, not make accusations.We should talk about the fact that it is not possible to be together, for example, to solve problems, to get along, even though many methods have been tried.You shouldn't talk about each other, more about the relationship itself.In this way, you can avoid unnecessary conflicts that will not ease the situation.- What are the signs that a partner is considering a divorce?- If it is not discussed, I wonder if it is possible to determine that he is thinking specifically about divorce.You can see when a person hesitates about something, there is coldness, distance, and no motivation to try for a relationship.But it may indicate that there are other problems in the relationship, not necessarily considering divorce.If a person does not speak, you cannot get into his soul.It often happens that they talk about affairs, household, children, but not about mutual relations.- How to help yourself recover after such an event?- You should allow yourself to cry.Divorce is in a way similar to a funeral - it is a painful event when you lose a loved one.The process is similar, because we lose a person.You should allow yourself to be with the unpleasant feelings that arise.You shouldn't pretend that everything is fine, show your ex what he lost and so on.You should admit to yourself that it is painful and spend some time with your feelings.By the time everything is naturally exhausted, the mourning ends.When life becomes brighter, you can think about the next steps.You should also analyze what went wrong in your previous relationship, find mistakes and learn from them.But there is no need to fall into self-loathing and self-blame.The important thing is to believe that it can be better, you just need to learn the lessons.- After a divorce, some try to sleep in other beds, is this the right way?- This is an attempt to suppress and forget the pain.After such attempts, hidden feelings remain, which later do their dirty work.Although you may not need to rush, this is not an ironclad rule.Man is free to choose how to live better for him.- How much time should you give yourself to start a new relationship?- This is a very subjective matter, there are no deadlines.Relationships are a process that cannot be regulated rationally.If there is a relationship, a close, suitable person, you can be with him.And vice versa - if you are not attracted to new relationships, you should not rush yourself.I would advise you to let everything happen naturally, to consider your inner feelings.- Can divorce leave an imprint for the rest of your life and affect subsequent relationships?- Divorce always leaves an imprint for life.This is a very painful process and it is not without consequences.But this does not mean that a person will never be able to create a good relationship again.If we learn from mistakes, work on relationships, and not just look for someone to be good with, we can create a completely different, good relationship than before.It happens that after this painful process, people get scared and don't want to experience it ever again, so they don't get into relationships anymore.This is a protective reaction.People who haven't resolved childhood traumas and problems with their parents can become less resilient because old wounds open up after a divorce.- Is it worth getting into a relationship with a recently divorced person?- Maybe you shouldn't be in a big hurry, first it's better to find out if the person is trying to escape from the pain caused by the divorce, or if something beautiful is actually happening.Simply saying "no" to yourself often doesn't work.One should stay alert, keep in mind that there is danger, but this does not mean that it is necessary to completely block.It is necessary to observe what is happening with the relationship, to see what problems arise, to analyze.If a person does not have the skill to work with relationships and see them, in any case, there are many opportunities to spoil them.Especially if the mind is darkened, problems are no longer seen, and reality is seen after the moment of falling in love.